What kinds of lies do you tell yourself? At what point do you realize that you have lied? How do you react? What happened? Why did you choose to behave that way? What was hardest about making that decision? Describe a time when you broke a promise to yourself. Write down the names of five people who have harmed you emotionally. Then read the letter aloud and try to imagine what he/she must be thinking right now. Write down an apology letter to the person who hurt you the most. In the past, what did you use as a way to control other people? How do you think they feel when they discover this secret? What will happen once they find out? What do you fear they might do? You might want to talk to the people who disappoint you most frequently. Try to find out what it is that makes you want to trust certain people. What message did you get from the situation? How did you feel when you realized that your friend hadn’t been honest with you? Think of a time when a person promised you or asked you to do something important to them but never followed through on that agreement. Who helped you? Was it someone who betrayed you? Do you still feel close to him/her? Did you learn anything from the experience? What did you learn? In general, are you trustworthy in your relationships? What kind of rules do you have about honesty? Will forgiving that person really bring closure to the issue? What is keeping you from forgiving? Now think about whether you could forgive them. Write down the name of every person who has kept a secret from you. What do those secrets protect? What happens if you break that promise? Would it be harder for you to forgive yourself? How does secrecy benefit you? Identify the reasons why you keep secrets. What was going through your head at that moment? Why did you decide to change your mind?
When you tell a story and it doesn’t match reality, what do you do? Do you deny it? Explain it away? Lie about it? Think of a time when you told an untruth and later changed your mind.
Can you accept responsibility for your actions or not? Would telling the truth prevent the problem in the future? Ask yourself what you need to do to stop being dishonest. Do you usually lie now? If so, how old were you when you began lying? Write down all the times you lied to someone because you wanted to make yourself look good. Are there any consequences you don’t understand? What would happen if you didn’t admit what you did? List all the things that you’ve done wrong. For example, you might write down something like, “If only she knew….” or “If she didn’t know what I did, then maybe I wouldn’t feel so guilty.” Try using a negative emotion in place of the word or phrase. Write down any words or phrases that remind you of being dishonest. Is there anyone you need to forgive before you can move forward in life? Now list all the things that you believe would keep you safe. Write down everything that happened at school or outside of school that made you afraid. Then ask yourself, are you willing to forgive them for their mistakes? Write down the names of every person who has ever broken your trust. Does anything happen when you try to talk sense to them?
For each one of the people who have hurt you in some way, describe how they made you feel. “I trusted someone from my past and I ended up feeling like a fool…” “I trusted this person and he/she betrayed me…” “My friend broke my trust and I had no way to fix it.” Use the following sentences (or more) as prompts. Describe your first experience with trust. What happens if you don’t get help? How does that make you feel? Write about why you feel so lost or scared. Shadow Work Journal Prompts to Solve Your Trust Issues
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